CubeVenture! Chapter 10!!!

CubeVenture! Chapter 10!!!
Post by: Asheiou - May 11th, 2015, 4:15:54 pm

Chapter 10... what to put here...
Im so happy we made it to 10 chapters! Please comment on my style of writing, criticise it...
Comment a summary about what happened so far. A lot did in, maybe 3 full pages of writing.
I am not concentrating on this, Im letting the words flow.
Anyway, roll the tape:



Chapter 10 - Part 1 : Soviet
I havent talked to Tube lately. I saw him earlier. Something is not right. He was acting, well, like a soldier who was brainwashed...
...this is bad.
"Soviet, please report to Lord Slimes office immediately," chirped a speaker, "He has someone you would like to meet."
I then am teleported to Slimes office...
Chapter 10 - Part 2: Hypnotist
I dont know why I do this as a job. I just like to be in control of people. Slime doesnt know it but he is completely under my power. I am here to rescue these people from Slime. His plan is so evil!
Then a girl comes in and I have to hypnotise her...
It is usually quick. I was born with a power that allows me to control minds. But this girl, she seems almost immune to it. She barely mumbles the words I try and make her say and she wouldnt move when I tried to make her. I need to try something a little stronger...
Chapter 10 - Part 3 : Tube
I hate this. Ever since that man appeared, Ive been trapped in my head, Slime controlling my moves and speech. I can still talk telepathically (I was born with it...) but it is worthless. I tried to contact Soviet, but she wont answer. I wish I could break out of this... curse!
Chapter 10 - Part 4 : Soviet
One minute I was almost in control of my actions, just the occasional mumble. Then, all of a sudden, I couldnt control myself at all. Then the man said to me, "Shut down thinking, let Slime take over," everything went dark and I was trapped in my head. Then I thought I heard Tube talking to me but it was probably my imagination...
Chapter 10 - Part 5 : Slime
Stage 2 was a success, now onto Stage 3.
Then the hypnotist walked into the room, clicked his fingers and I was walking towards him, not in control of myself. I stopped and then the hypnotist mumbled something and everything went black...
Chapter 10 - Part 6 : Tube
One moment I was trapped in my head. The next, I was in control again. I went looking for Soviet, who was sitting on a bench, looking relived.
"Hey," I say.
"Well, that was weird..." She replied.
"I know," I say back.
Then the hypnotist walked into the room and we walked towards him, not under his power but by choice...


Thanks for reading :D
Next chapters shout out will go to whoever can get the best summary of what has happened so far in 50 words or less.
Stay tuned!
~Tube
Re: CubeVenture! Chapter 10!!!
Post by: slimestein - May 11th, 2015, 4:40:18 pm

Summary:I am evil and apperently i lie
soviet has strong will power
mctube is kind of weak got telepatic stuff which atm is useless
hypnotisiser nit liking slime goes against me
i would never be such a fool making a plan relying on a second part that could betray me+i dont lie either we get a real plot twist soon or you did not follow what i wrote when you asked for people to join

Anyways great story cant wait for chapter 11

Re: CubeVenture! Chapter 10!!!
Post by: KermitsBigToe - May 11th, 2015, 5:31:03 pm

Oh yeah! Lord Slime thinks I have strong Willpower ~(•-•)~

Anyway awesome chapter, I dont know if I should think the hypnotist is evil or not though..

Also I would write a summary but I have 4% charge and my iPad wont charge so Ill need to wait a few days possibly till I get a new one.

Cannot wait chapter 11 ( Woah I only said I cannot wait for chapter 10 like an hour or two ago.. Congratulations! It takes me like a week to complete one chapter of my stories xD )

Sorry for any typos, as you can tell by the amount of charge I have left.

Re: CubeVenture! Chapter 10!!!
Post by: Asheiou - May 12th, 2015, 11:12:19 am

[quote author=slimestein link=topic=3024.msg14391#msg14391 date=1431376818]
Summary:I am evil and apperently i lie
soviet has strong will power
mctube is kind of weak got telepatic stuff which atm is useless
hypnotisiser nit liking slime goes against me
i would never be such a fool making a plan relying on a second part that could betray me+i dont lie either we get a real plot twist soon or you did not follow what i wrote when you asked for people to join

Anyways great story cant wait for chapter 11
[/quote]
...Im not answering anything...

Re: CubeVenture! Chapter 10!!!
Post by: Asheiou - May 12th, 2015, 11:14:59 am

[quote author=SovietPickle link=topic=3024.msg14427#msg14427 date=1431379863]
Anyway awesome chapter, I dont know if I should think the hypnotist is evil or not though..
[/quote]
As I have stated, I am not answering anything...
~Tube, Author

Re: CubeVenture! Chapter 10!!!
Post by: Asheiou - May 12th, 2015, 11:17:19 am

Im slowing down now... Ive got maths tomorrow :( (or :), considering Im good at maths, but I dont like it)
~Tube, Author (Im sticking with Author on my story posts now)

Re: CubeVenture! Chapter 10!!!
Post by: Asheiou - May 12th, 2015, 4:42:50 pm

[quote author=slimestein link=topic=3024.msg14391#msg14391 date=1431376818]
hypnotiser
[/quote]
Hypnotist. (Sorry, did a grammar test today. 5, in fact)
~Tube

Re: CubeVenture! Chapter 10!!!
Post by: slimestein - May 13th, 2015, 10:39:03 am

[quote author=Tube (_MCTube_) link=topic=3024.msg14509#msg14509 date=1431463370]
[quote author=slimestein link=topic=3024.msg14391#msg14391 date=1431376818]
hypnotiser
[/quote]
Hypnotist. (Sorry, did a grammar test today. 5, in fact)
~Tube
[/quote]
there is a reason my profile says that you guys should correct me so dont be sad, i should say thank in fact

Re: CubeVenture! Chapter 10!!!
Post by: Asheiou - May 14th, 2015, 5:29:28 pm

[quote author=slimestein link=topic=3024.msg14546#msg14546 date=1431527943]
[quote author=Tube (_MCTube_) link=topic=3024.msg14509#msg14509 date=1431463370]
[quote author=slimestein link=topic=3024.msg14391#msg14391 date=1431376818]
hypnotiser
[/quote]
Hypnotist. (Sorry, did a grammar test today. 5, in fact)
~Tube
[/quote]
there is a reason my profile says that you guys should correct me so dont be sad, i should say [glow=red,2,300]thanks[/glow] in fact
[/quote]
Youre welcome!
(I corrected a mistake in your quote, it is highlighted)
~Tube

Re: CubeVenture! Chapter 10!!!
Post by: Asheiou - May 24th, 2015, 5:12:59 pm

This post is locked. Please see Chapter 11s post here.
~Tube

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